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Monday, June 29, 2015

Weird World of Netflix

Netflix's front page on their website streams some Ken Burns image effect.

The content of the images weirded me out.

Weird Netflix Picture #1

Shocked. Shocked and scared. That's what this little boy's facial expression says.
Who knows what kind of material they're watching. I'm guessing little sis over there figured out a way to hack past the Kids safety menu and started streaming "nymphomaniac volume 1". The movie is about paralleling angling, aka fly fishing, to the lifestyle of a female nymphomaniac. Their family fishing trips will never be the same.

And what's with the creepy lady eavesdropping?


Is that mom? An older sister? And what are they doing? Big brother watches everything in lady's leggings? Creepy as hell, Netflix.

Weird Netflix Picture #2


Little daughter captivated by romcom selection a la mom. Meanwhile, mom digs her shoulder into what we can assume is dad's pancreas. Notice the entire family tilting left like a bunch of books on a bookshelf falling over.



And what's with the lovey puppy eyes with the dad and son? Is that even a boy? And is that even the dad? For all we know that could be "mommy's friend" that comes over when dad goes away for long business trips.

Notice in the far left of the picture a pillow cushion.



Normally we would assume such a cushion exists for the family dog. But no dog appears present in the photo, nor do any dog toys litter the living room near said cushion.

We can then reasonably assume that the cushion designates the area where that androgynous child must stay during watching films. See how he desperately climbs the arm of the sofa while mommy's friend attempts to fling the child back to the slave child cushion?

What a weird, dark world these Netflix watchers live in. Americans are fucked up.

Netflix Weirdness Picture #3

Nothing too weird here.

EXCEPT THAT WATCH LOOKS STOLEN.


That's your grandfather's watch that Christopher Walken's dad hid up his ass in World War 2, Butch.


Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Saggiherpeus


"How do you know if you're infected with herpes?"

Ask yourself, "Did I sleep with a Sagittarius?"

There's your answer. And mine is, no, I have never slept with a Sagittarius.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Battlerope Kettlebell Anchor VS Giant Hawai'in Toad

Oahu rogue toad wins this time against kettlebells and battle ropes. A local told me that toads vomit up their guts and organs if something squishes them, then slurps everything back in after the squishing event. I haven't looked into whether or not toads in Hawai'i doing this is true or not. Let's find out.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

WOD Willpower Builder

"Yo, B, you gonna WOD with us today?"

Crossfit turned the acronym, WOD, or Workout Of [the] Day, into a verb, if you haven't noticed already. And the self-dubbed "athletes" know it shares the same namespace as its pornographic counterpart.

On day 1 of Crossfit, I WODDED with Diane, which as it turns out, tore down my muscles through negative catobolic mechanisms. But there's something to it we can takeaway that will build our willpower without destroying our bodies.

Diane WOD
  • 25 Deadlifts
  • 25 Handstand Pushups
  • 16 Deadlifts
  • 16 Handstand Pushups
  • 9 Deadlifts
  • 9 Handstand Pushups
I used 225 lbs. for deadlifts. It hurt. But the next day, my body didn't hurt. How?

Honestly, I attribute intermittent fasting and the 2000% increase in my body's growth hormone to the quick recovery than anything else (sorry, Crossfit, erm, Diane). My willpower, however, strengthened.

Crossfit workouts eventually broke down my body.

Squats Before 2 Weeks of Crossfit

5 sets of 315 lbs.

Squats After 2 Weeks of Crossfit

3 sets (barely) of 5 reps of 175 lbs.

My body deteriorated. The stress from the overuse of the same muscle groups and the same joints every day, overtrained my body. I did this for the sake of experimentation, no one convinced me or coerced me to try this or buy into it against my right to think for myself and make decisions).

My endurance dropped as well.

Mile Time Before 2 Weeks of Crossfit

5 minutes and 48 seconds.

Mile Time After 2 Weeks of Crossfit

Needed a break after getting to the track, then ran a mile in 7 minutes and 37 seconds.

However, my willpower increased substantially.

The absurd amount of repetitions in Crossfit workouts build the strength of willpower. We can takeaway that factor and put it into exercises that benefit our bodies. We can build our willpower by accomplishing a set task.

If we drop the ignorance of overtraining workouts, we can increase our willpower by doing a Filthy Fifty, or in my case, WOD with Diane.

Just take the formula of numbers, and plug in things you can do without breaking your body. Even if it's just snapping your fingers 25 times, then clapping 25 times. It's completing the task that augments our willpower.



Monday, June 15, 2015

Lady of the Nightshade

Browsing for exercise mats on Amazon.com went swimmingly well until this image popped up on my browser.

"I WILL KILL THEM ALL WITH THESE BELL PEPPERS OF THE SOLANACEAE FAMILY! HAHAHAHA!"


This woman is trying to kill us all with her sink full of night-shade vegetables!

But don't take my word for it.

http://www.diagnosisdiet.com/nightshades/





Saturday, June 6, 2015

Happiness Amino Acids

These amino acids make you happy, less moody, better focused.



Or as they say in the hood, TYRONEsine.

As for the other...



Carnitine.

Don't worry. Be happy.

Arginine, Cirtulline, and BCAA Amino Acid Workout Supplements

Amino Acids to Enhance Exercise Results

These are the supplements I'm using in my own workouts. If you click the links and/or pictures of these workout supplements to go to buy them on Amazon, they give me a small percentage of money. There isn't a catch. I post what I use, my results, things I know, and you decide if you want to try for yourself.

BCAA


I take branch chain amino acids 20 minutes before doing intense lifting or some kind of sprinting, or tabata with battle ropes, or something of that ilk. Addendum. I take BCAA all the time throughout the day in small amounts. I do this because most of the day I fast. The bag says take 3 grams three times a day. I've never gotten ill but 1 person I know says they feel slight nausea after taking the BCAA supplement.


Citrulline DL Malate 2:1


I take this stuff with L-arginine upon waking, before a workout, and before bed. Best used on an empty stomach. It will get rid of soreness, improve skin, blood circulation, and for men it improves their body's ability to circulate blood into the capillaries of their man-anatomy if a stimulating occasion arises. However, over-training and/or depression and/or anxiety pummel pharmacological solutions for floppiness into nothingness.


L-Arginine


Empty stomach, before a workout, and before bed on an empty stomach. It improves endurance, blood circulation, skin, and just like the citrulline, also makes for a natural, very effective viagra substitute. For those seeking non exercise benefits such as heart conditions, take this one plus the citrulline.