Sunday, August 16, 2015

Swole Kitchen Presents: BCAA L-Glutamine L-Citrulline Mango Coconut Curry

From Hawaii I bring you recipes from the Swole Kitchen.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to add 50g of BCAA's, 50g of L-Glutamine, and 40g of L-Citrulline to coconut curry? Me, too!

So let's add them all together and see what happens after my body absorbs all these amazing things with some healthy, coconut, mango, quinoa, broccoli curry.

Added pure BCAA, Citrulline, and Glutamine to this already delicious coconut mango curry.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Weird World of Netflix

Netflix's front page on their website streams some Ken Burns image effect.

The content of the images weirded me out.

Weird Netflix Picture #1

Shocked. Shocked and scared. That's what this little boy's facial expression says.
Who knows what kind of material they're watching. I'm guessing little sis over there figured out a way to hack past the Kids safety menu and started streaming "nymphomaniac volume 1". The movie is about paralleling angling, aka fly fishing, to the lifestyle of a female nymphomaniac. Their family fishing trips will never be the same.

And what's with the creepy lady eavesdropping?

Is that mom? An older sister? And what are they doing? Big brother watches everything in lady's leggings? Creepy as hell, Netflix.

Weird Netflix Picture #2

Little daughter captivated by romcom selection a la mom. Meanwhile, mom digs her shoulder into what we can assume is dad's pancreas. Notice the entire family tilting left like a bunch of books on a bookshelf falling over.

And what's with the lovey puppy eyes with the dad and son? Is that even a boy? And is that even the dad? For all we know that could be "mommy's friend" that comes over when dad goes away for long business trips.

Notice in the far left of the picture a pillow cushion.

Normally we would assume such a cushion exists for the family dog. But no dog appears present in the photo, nor do any dog toys litter the living room near said cushion.

We can then reasonably assume that the cushion designates the area where that androgynous child must stay during watching films. See how he desperately climbs the arm of the sofa while mommy's friend attempts to fling the child back to the slave child cushion?

What a weird, dark world these Netflix watchers live in. Americans are fucked up.

Netflix Weirdness Picture #3

Nothing too weird here.


That's your grandfather's watch that Christopher Walken's dad hid up his ass in World War 2, Butch.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Happiness Amino Acids

These amino acids make you happy, less moody, better focused.

Or as they say in the hood, TYRONEsine.

As for the other...


Don't worry. Be happy.

Arginine, Cirtulline, and BCAA Amino Acid Workout Supplements

Amino Acids to Enhance Exercise Results

These are the supplements I'm using in my own workouts. If you click the links and/or pictures of these workout supplements to go to buy them on Amazon, they give me a small percentage of money. There isn't a catch. I post what I use, my results, things I know, and you decide if you want to try for yourself.


I take branch chain amino acids 20 minutes before doing intense lifting or some kind of sprinting, or tabata with battle ropes, or something of that ilk. Addendum. I take BCAA all the time throughout the day in small amounts. I do this because most of the day I fast. The bag says take 3 grams three times a day. I've never gotten ill but 1 person I know says they feel slight nausea after taking the BCAA supplement.

Citrulline DL Malate 2:1

I take this stuff with L-arginine upon waking, before a workout, and before bed. Best used on an empty stomach. It will get rid of soreness, improve skin, blood circulation, and for men it improves their body's ability to circulate blood into the capillaries of their man-anatomy if a stimulating occasion arises. However, over-training and/or depression and/or anxiety pummel pharmacological solutions for floppiness into nothingness.


Empty stomach, before a workout, and before bed on an empty stomach. It improves endurance, blood circulation, skin, and just like the citrulline, also makes for a natural, very effective viagra substitute. For those seeking non exercise benefits such as heart conditions, take this one plus the citrulline.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Outside Insurgent Walls

Insurgent is a movie that's a sequel to Divergent.

They live in a city.

The city.

Surrounded by walls.

Tris asked Four what exists beyond the walls.

So what's beyond the walls?

The guy on the far right knows. Titans.

Many Titans.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Satan Loves Cauliflower

I cooked some curry vegetables the other day and noticed a disproportionate amount of cauliflower in the veggie mix.

"Damn. Why?! Why does God punish us with cauliflower filler?! Why???!!!"

Then in a flash of fire, Satan appeared!

Satan: "Technically, God loves you. But I hate you. Give credit where credit is due. I created cauliflower. Not Him!"

Bronson: "Oh. That makes sense. If you had a restaurant, would you overpopulate the seasonal vegetable mixes with it then only add 1 or 2 actual seasonal vegetables to the plate?"

Satan: "I absolutely would."

Bronson: "Why did you go with cauliflower though?"

Satan: "Well, we tested rice cakes during the pre-marketing phase but it didn't pan out as we hoped. So we went more organic and less processed.

You also know how I love to attack with subtlety. Rice cake assaults, in retrospect, seemed a bit amateurish. It's a tough sell to convince humans that food looking like styrofoam was not only food, but healthier food, too."

Bronson: "Humans believe you're real, and that seems like more of a stretch."

Satan: "I know, right?"

Anyway, the jig was up before I could sew my dietary seed of evil using rice cakes."

Bronson: "How does rice cake consumption qualify as a sin?"

Satan: "It all boils down to gluttony and my personal favorite, pride. You see, people who ate rice cakes loaded them with sugary jelly and peanut butter, usually in that order.

Haha that reminds me of the genesis of rice cakes when people would attempt to put the peanut butter on first, then the jelly, then squish it together. Haha I ruined so many white clothes... Ah... Those were the days. Red jelly everywhere. I love that color, you know.

But the point I am making is that the intentions to indulge in gluttony existed within rice cake aficionados. They wanted the satisfaction of decadent indulgence and saw themselves above any consequences despite their intentions born deep from sin.

Some would wear the crumbs pridefully, as if to say their sacrifice to eat styrofoam exalted in them greater spiritual purity over others. They might say,

'Oh that? That's just rice cake crumbs. Yea I'm hardcore. Taking the nutritional high road definitely challenges me, but greater is He that's in me...'

Humans amuse me. But I hate them at the same time. I GET SO ANGRY SOMETIMES!

Bronson: "I understand now.

Why did you switch to cauliflower?"

Satan: "I thought, oh hey, I tricked pot-heads to logically formulate that because marijuana comes from a plant in the ground that it must be good. So why not make a vegetable, a thing that grows in the earth, be just as heinous as rice cakes and apply the same logic?

Bam. Cauliflower."

Bronson: "It's like a rice cake in the shape of broccoli. It's awful."

Satan: "It really is, terrible, isn't it?

I need just a minute to dump some frustration on you that's unrelated to this that the pot-head logic reminded me of.

As an aside I just want to point out that teaching logic to pot-heads caused me great agony because I had to abandon subtlety and reveal myself to them in order to embark on that painfully difficult teaching task.

Then they were like, 'Oh wow, Satan! What's up evil red dude! Haha right on, I'm tripping balls, haha!'

They're a full time job, though. I still have to zip on over through spiritual nether before they open their mouths in an argument justifying their sticky gooey. It's because they forget any new information 2 minutes later and end up going in circles.

Plus you know their logic, and how they justify slothful sin and greed in a stealthy, herbal way.

But they're all deaf to anything contrary and get all dreadlocky rasta rasta blah blah. Why am I complaining? Either way I win!"

Bronson: "I never thought of pot-heads as Satanic."

Satan: "I'm amazing at subtlety.

Since I'm feeling generous, do you have any more questions? I might answer them honestly. I might not."

Bronson: "Is it true you can be in only one place at a time?"

Satan: "Yes. Which reminds me, I need to go influence someone to write a blog about 7 awesome things you can do with cauliflower.

That's one thing I am so proud of.

Well I'm proud of many things.

But I am especially proud of implanting the idea in humans of making the internet.

And of course its subsidiary distractions: porn, blogging, Facebook, emails, etc.

You know when you write a scathing email to someone like your boss? Those are my demons influencing you to think it is a good idea to click 'send'.

AOL used to allow an unsend feature. But I nipped that in the bud. Gmail appears to give you an option in the lab settings to enable an un-send feature.

I digress. Gotta go, she's considering broccoli, and how it heals the liver. Can't have that happening! Toodles!"

Bronson: "Nice chatting with you, Satan."

Today I learned...
Satan loves cauliflower.
But not as much as he loves the internet.